Exercising Speculation

BLOGGING ABOUT WHATEVER

ENTRY - 7

TITLE: Exercising Speculation

AUTHOUR: J. William Bell

DATE POSTED: 2025-05-25

In a previous entry, I mentioned a story about a couple of estranged friends named Joe and Mark. For this entry; I am inspired to tell you more about Joe.

Approximately 45% to 47% of marriages have ended in divorce, here in Canada, during the last decade or so. I am obviously not an expert, and I would encourage the curious folks out there to do your own research; and please do remember that when it comes to the subject of divorce, almost everybody tells a certain number of lies. Especially women.

Joe married the girl next door, and as far as Joe knew; he was her dream come true-- until they had been married for almost two months and she learned that just because she was the wife; she was not going to win every argument. It annoyed her that her husband expected her to provide indisputeable forensic evidence and testimony from vetted witnesses/sources before he would believe anything she told him-- especially when she started from a position/statement that because he is a man, he is therefore automatically wrong.

For almost three years, Mister and Missus Joe would go through a pseudo-ragnarok cycle of having an argument; Missus Joe storming off in a huff to hide out at her parents house, or at a friend's house, and only coming back when her host informed her that she was failing as a wife to recognize when she had started a fight she could have avoided.

This and a few other events and choices led these two unhappy people to get a divorce. A divorce that stated on paper that Mister and Missus Joe had unreconcilable differences, and that this divorce was a no-fault divorce; but if you asked the now ex-Missus Joe who was to blame, all of it would be dumped onto the reputation and character of Joe. Everybody who truly knows that woman, also knows just how often she will tell lies to make herself look better, especially in comparison to her victim.

For the first time in his life, Joe wished that he had access to a time machine; the kind you read about in those Science-Fiction stories and see in those Sci-Fi movies. Before getting a divorce, Joe rationalized that all of his past mistakes helped him to become the possibly-good man that he is; now, he passionately wished that he could go back in time and convice his younger self that he should avoid that woman like the plague!

IF he had not married her:

- He would not have wasted a lot of money.

- He would have had more time to pursue his definition of happiness.

- He would not have had to spend years in one form of therapy or another to deal with the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that people tend to get from being in a dysfuntional/abusive marriage.

Joe imagined his life in this alternate history, and it was very easy for him to see himself living alone; but mostly happy. Finding some success as an artist, because he did not have to waste a lot of money and time on superfluous dates, social events with relatives, and making unnecessary repairs to his car because somebody did not like the noises it made. He would have had to deal with his Father's death by himself, and grieve without somebody to hold him. He would have probably attended all of the weddings his many brothers had, instead of most of them. And yes, he still would have been enough of a hopeless romantic to be open to a relationship with a good woman.

And he probably would have made the same series of mistakes he made in his failed marriage with somebody else, while also being older, and perhaps having more money, and possibly also some children.

There was also the possibility in this alternate history that his marital problems would not have ended in divorce. That this theoretical Alternative-Wife would have been a wiser, saner, and more forgiving woman (also, if they had kids; there would be a profoundly good reason for them to work things out-- children from two-parent households really do tend to grow up and become sober-minded and successful adults... most of the time).

Exercising speculation can be fun, but, sanity is defined by making decisions based upon the truth. Joe is getting used to the idea that he will live out the rest of his life and die alone... Unless, God has other plans for him.

The future, while it is still accessible, is full of possibilites.

Excelsior!